Every relationship is different. Some people fall in love at first sight, while others like committing first and then growing in love. But, there have been times in all our lives where we have moved too fast for our own liking. Is it possible that we ignore a few red flags while doing so? Love bombing is real. Narcissists often use this tactic of intense romantic courting to get what they want. This time, it could be you. If even a cell in your body feels like you are moving too fast, press pause and read this post. We will tell you the signs to look for to determine if your relationship is moving too fast and how to tackle this situation. Read on!
1. You Are Losing Your Identity
Are you a homebody but have started going out every day because of your partner? Do you let your partner make all the decisions or give in easily to their whims? If you are constantly doing uncharacteristic things that go against your nature just to make your partner happy, it is not a good sign. It may feel innocuous at first, but you will end up feeling disoriented and out of sorts in the relationship. The rush of doing new things or spending time with your loved one may have you all pumped, but you know that something is off. Getting consumed by the relationship without leaving time for yourself can be exhausting. While it is great to explore new things and get out of your comfort zone, if it makes you lose your sense of self, give it a pause. Take a raincheck. Talk to a close friend and air your doubts. They can help you put things in perspective. They are the first ones to notice any drastic changes in your personality. When the relationship is moving too fast, you will give up on your habits, interests, and even friendships. You may end up feeling empty or like you are not yourself.
2. Lack Of Boundaries
A whirlwind romance can sweep you off your feet, and you may let your guard down. This can create a lot of problems. Apart from ignoring the red flags, you may end up blurring the boundaries. A relationship that lacks healthy boundaries can easily turn codependent or toxic. Always remember that there are two individuals in a relationship. They should live in harmony but not become one entity. Setting boundaries doesn’t mean being selfish but respecting each other’s vital space, needs, and aspirations. People in a relationship are like two islands of the same archipelago. Spending 24/7 together, constant texting, stalking each other online, and not giving each other space to pursue individual goals, interests, or hobbies is not healthy in a relationship. Always make time for family, friends, and yourself. If you check with your partner for every decision you make, or they encroach into your personal or professional relationships, it is definitely a warning sign. Another giveaway is your partner getting upset with you for setting boundaries. It is important to remember that some boundaries are important even in the healthiest relationship. One such boundary is not sharing passwords or confidential financial details with your partner.
3. You Think Your Partner Is Flawless
Love makes us see everything through rose-colored glasses! Your partner may seem flawless or almost perfect to you. You do not like people criticizing them, so you keep making excuses for them. You ignore all the red flags or peg their toxic behavior as not a big deal. You may even think that you can change or “fix” them. This is not a mature approach. Do not blindly trust the person. Weigh your options and think of the consequences before you make any major commitment. Over-the-top romantic gestures, promises that seem too good to be true, and big dreams without any plans are all warning signs of a relationship moving too fast. Another thing to beware of is trauma bonding. It is possible to get emotionally attached to someone who is manipulative, abusive, or narcissistic. Common or shared experiences, especially of suffering or grief, may make you feel connected to someone. The familiarity may keep you from seeing your partner objectively.
4. You Idealize The Relationship
If either of the partners tends to romanticize love, they may end up idealizing the relationship. This results in chasing a feeling and losing touch with the ground reality. They want that picture-perfect movie romance or #couplegoals you see on Instagram. They are more interested in keeping up appearances, so the relationship stays at a superficial level. This kind of relationship may reach all the milestones pretty quickly but will fall apart easily as it lacks a foundation. It is important to learn everything about each other – likes, dislikes, value system, deal-breakers. This builds an emotional connection and helps you see the bigger picture. Love, respect, and appreciate the real person, not the idea you made up in your head about them. This will help you steer away from the fantasies you have created about the perfect partner or relationship and help you build a healthy one. This will also help you set up realistic expectations for each other. It is essential to listen actively to each other and build everything on a solid basis. People are extraordinary in their uniqueness and can have different desires and attitudes. One can be a “Prince Charming” even if he doesn’t ride a white horse!
5. Extravagant Romantic Gestures
Romantic getaways, showering each other with expensive gifts, flattery, and saccharine sweet nicknames early on in the relationship are warning signs of things moving too fast. Although these are normal once the relationship has progressed a bit, the intensity and timing can help you understand if someone is manipulating you. Mushy words and attention can make you swoon, but try to stay on your guard if it’s in the initial stages of the relationship. Sometimes, people use them to try to hide their toxic traits or because they enjoy the chase. Either way, it may end up in heartbreak. It is easy to get caught up in the passion, but it is important to slow things down so both the partners are on the same page.
6. Rebound Relationship
When you start dating immediately after a breakup, the chances are you still haven’t recovered from the end of the previous relationship. To avoid heartache and loneliness, you may jump into a relationship. These kinds of relationships move at a fast pace. You may use it as a distraction or to show that you are “winning” the breakup. It is important to acknowledge the end of a relationship, mourn it, and then move on. If you are not ready for the next relationship, you will end up messing it up. Take a break for a few months after a breakup before you start dating seriously. This gives you time to introspect and build yourself up.
7. You Have Already Met Their Friends And Family
If you met their friends and family after only a few weeks of dating, it is a definite sign that your relationship is moving too fast. Meeting family is an important milestone and should not be done frivolously. It can be uncomfortable meeting them in the initial stages of the relationship. It could be awkward to have discussions about things you don’t know about each other. Try to meet each other’s friends and family only after you both have spent a good amount of time together. Do not rush into hanging out with your partner’s friends. Now that you have figured out if your relationship is moving too fast, how do you move forward from here? Find out in the next section.
Is Moving Too Fast In A Relationship A Bad Thing? How Can You Handle It In A Healthy Way?
Yes, moving too fast in a relationship is bad for the people involved as it sets up false expectations. The versions you know of each other may not be authentic as you didn’t get to spend enough time together. Here’s how you can handle a relationship that seems to be moving too fast:
1. Be Honest
Be transparent about your concerns. Have a discussion about the way things are going. Be gentle yet firm and avoid accusatory statements or blaming your partner. It is a tricky situation, but the only way out is through it! Clearly articulate why you think the relationship is moving too fast and how you can cool things off. Your partner’s reaction will help you understand their intentions and character. If they are understanding and try to make you comfortable, then you are in good hands. Just make sure you both respect each other. Chances are that both of you got carried away.
2. Work On Yourself
No one is perfect. Try to spend time building the best version of yourself so you can have a great relationship. Boost your self-esteem. Be true to yourself so you can develop a strong identity. Divide your time wisely and maintain a healthy work-life balance. This will keep you occupied so you don’t get obsessed with the relationship. Work on your goals, dreams, and hobbies. Do something productive with your time. Remember: the relationship is only one part of life. It is also important to never cancel yourself for another trying to please him/her. You need to follow your goals and dreams just like anyone else, and this must be respected. Another thing to remember is to not make concrete plans for the future with your partner. You never know what the future holds. So for the first few months, just go with the flow.
3. Socialize
Spend time with your friends and family. This will keep you happy and emotionally content. It will also give you a great support system. Arrange for double dates so you can keep the relationship from moving too fast. This will help balance the dynamics of the relationship and keep tabs on your relationship. Lastly, wait at least 3-6 months before you introduce your partner to your family and friends. In fact, unless you are sure they are serious about them, do not invite them to family gatherings.
4. Pause
Take mini-breaks, like weekend getaways with friends or family, so you are not spending 24/7 with your partner. Give each other space. Avoid constant texting or phone calls. It is important to communicate, but it is better to keep it healthy. Set strict boundaries so you both are on the same page. How fast should a relationship progress? There is no specific timeline for how a relationship should progress since each relationship is unique. You can have an honest conversation with your partner and set expectations from the get-go so that both partners are on the same page. Can a relationship that moves fast last? While there is no guarantee that a relationship that moves too fast will last, there is no guarantee that it will come to an end also. Ideally, you and your partner should take things slow and spend more time together to keep the relationship blooming.
